Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder..!

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder..! 1024 640 Transcend With Urvashi

Have you ever noticed that people perceive things differently? You know out of the same image, movie or story, they perceive different things.. like they say.. beauty is in the eyes of the beholder..

And has this ever happened to you before that you met someone and thought to yourself – ”God, this person is really arrogant!” Or maybe, after you talked to someone, you thought: “Damn, they are really opinionated” or intimidating! I know that I have for sure had a couple of situations like that where I have misunderstood and judged people (I know, my bad!) without giving the person a fair chance.. that changes as your grow and read and evolve and just know better.. but only once I started studying NLP did I realize why I did what I did and the injustice I had inflicted upon all those people – why do you think I say that? Because now I KNOW better.. now I know that PERCEPTION is PROJECTION!

“Perception is Projection” is one of the most empowering themes of Neuro Linguistic Programming. The concept, which has its roots in the Carl Jung psychology, tells us that what we see outside of ourselves, at some level and in some way, is a reflection of who we are on the inside. That’s not very pleasant to hear, isn’t it? And even harder to accept.. I get it. Simply put, when we recognize others as being arrogant or opinionated or even charming and lovable, we actually recognize a part of ourselves.. otherwise how would we be able to know what it was? Only that it is so unconscious, we are not conscious of it!

It is our deepest unresolved stuff that our dear unconscious mind cares enough to bring to our conscious awareness and to give us an opportunity to heal ourselves, so we stop projecting those issues onto the people and to the world around us! The moment we change those things inside of us, our world changes..

So, basically, what we see in others is really ourselves! The outer world is merely a reflection of our inner thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs – a reflection of what’s going on inside!

We only project those attributes onto other people that we need to learn from, that we need to resolve. We cannot project what we don’t have within us. If we see a negative trait in someone, that trait is within us somewhere and it has only been projected because we need to learn from it (may be get rid of that attribute in us or resolve it so we are better human beings). If we didn’t have that negative, we wouldn’t be able see that in others. If we see a positive in someone then also we possess that trait within us, it may not be out in the open but again for us to learn – we either aspire to be like that or have the capability to be like that!

Creation of reality happens within us.. the world outside of us is just meaningless raw sensory data.. we give it meaning using our filters when that information goes inside us.. our filters are on the basis of our values, our beliefs, our conditioning.. so in other words, the same ‘data’ is perceived differently by different people basis their own values, beliefs and conditioning.. that is why reality is always PERCEIVED reality.. different for you and me.. your version is really just that – your version of the story, it doesn’t exist outside of you.. you created it inside you, basis your own conditioning, your own meaning making process.. you are seeing part of you that you are perhaps unconscious about..

You carry the whole world inside of you. Remember if you need to change anything inside of you, all you need to do is find the root cause deep inside of you.. in your unconscious mind.. its not you.. it’s your unconscious mind! Finding the root cause of the problem and overcoming it.. heals you.. and the world heals.. If you think, everyone outside is out there to get you, guess what? The world delivers! Some people live in a bitter, angry, hate filled world and some people in a friendly, caring and love filled world – same world! To change anything outside of oneself .. one really needs to make the change inside first . Because the model of the world one has on one’s mind is exactly what is mirrored outside..

I spent a long time of my life trying to fit in.. trying to please people.. imagine the amount of energy I saved when I realized I am actually invisible and no one can really see me for who I am.. all you get to judge is your perception of who you think I am.. it has nothing to do with me and I go about not having a care in the world about what you think about me – isn’t that empowering?

At the end, this means that you will see in people whatever you want to see, and you will only perceive things that you have in you. So, instead of jumping to judgments, make sure you are giving the person a fair chance. Of course you will still come across certain people you might not like and at least you gave them a fair chance. Furthermore, focus on what you want, and feel free to project on to others the way you want to be yourself!

Leaving you with lines I heard from a friend and coaching colleague.. and simply love..
The I that is me, you cannot see..
You only see the form that you think is me..
The form that you see, will not always be..
But I that is me lives eternally!